My name is Simone. Some call me Mone, Moni, Simi, sis, bestie, the list goes on but my favorite name of them all is Mommy.
It was October 2014 that I found out I was preggo. That was the scariest day of my life. I picked up the test, saw the 2 very bold lines (not faint and uncertain but BOLD) that meant the test was positive for pregnancy, I immediately broke down. I was by myself, 30 year old me and ran around the house (physically running. Picture that!) crying yelling “NO. NO. NO!” I was not ready. This was not planned. I’m not even in a relationship with the father. I’m still at home with my own mother. I don’t make enough money. All the thoughts immediately took over my mind. I was a MESS! I called my best friends and told them the “unfortunate” news and they all were so supportive. Whatever I decided, they would be in my corner.
Fast forward to just a few weeks into this pregnancy. Having already made the decision to keep the child I helped to create for he is innocent and honestly I am old (or so I felt), I began finding excitement and joy about the whole thing. I now understood the blessing that had been bestowed upon me. Some blessings come as an unexpected surprise and that’s what my son Tristan was for me. He was born June 14, 2015, and his little handsome, mini look-alike self-changed my whole outlook on life.
I won’t sit here and say he saved my life like I hear a lot of new moms say. My life wasn’t in shambles that needed saving. What he did do was help me grow up. I was responsible for a little person’s life. That’s a big job! If you didn’t know, now you know. That thing you hear from other moms “don’t worry, your motherly instinct will kick in and you will be great,” is true. Well, it was for me. We all have our own stories. But thank God it was true for me. Some things you learn along the way by trial and error but as long as you know you’re doing your best and you’re doing what you believe to be the best for your baby, you are doing a phenomenal job as a mother.
With the support of his dad, my family, and friends, as well as my job, I was handling this new Mommy title like a BOSS! I began to assert myself more. I got that promotion at work that I knew I deserved. I got that raise that I knew I was entitled to. I saved more. I moved out my mother’s house and completely furnished it on move-in day because of that. I made sure he had his own room so he could have his own space. I made sure we were both dressed well. I made it my business to not let myself go just to be sure he was good. We BOTH gonna be good. I continued to feed my passion for traveling. I took him to shows and provided him experiences that he deserves. We have fun together!
There was this fun little survey that was posed to moms on Facebook, preferably with younger children to ask them a question and jot down exactly what they say as the answers. There were about 10 to 12 questions and a lot of moms posted some hilarious feedback. Tristan gave me a few funny one-liners as well but three of the questions/ answers that stuck out to me and got me a little emotional. It went like this.
If ever I feel like what I’m doing isn’t enough, I know that my son doesn’t feel that and he knows how much means to me, how much I love him and how much his happiness is important to me.
My advice for new moms is try not to doubt yourself, take care of yourself and everything will fall into place. You can’t truly be the best for your child if you forget about who you were before your child.
I am Tristan’s mommy but I am still Simone 🖤