๐’ฏ๐‘œ๐“Š๐‘”๐’ฝ ๐’ฏ๐’พ๐“‚๐‘’๐“ˆ ๐’Ÿ๐‘œ๐“ƒ’๐“‰ ๐ฟ๐’ถ๐“ˆ๐“‰ ๐น๐‘œ๐“‡๐‘’๐“‹๐‘’๐“‡ by: Robin Myrick

โ€œTrust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge himโ€ – Proverbs 3:5-6

Two years ago, today, March 29, 2017, I received the worst phone call of my life. The call letting me know that my mom unexpectedly passed away. The one who brought me into this world, the one who gave and sacrificed everything, the one who taught me morals and values, the one who truly loved me is longer no physically present.

I spoke with my mom the night before to check on her as she was sick with the flu. She mentioned that she couldnโ€™t keep anything down and was constantly sweating. I said โ€œMom, try and eat some soup or crackers to settle your stomachโ€ You know thatโ€™s the common thing to do when youโ€™re sick; take some medicine, drink a lil orange juice, rest up, girl youโ€™ll be fine. Thatโ€™s what our mamas and grandmas instilled on us. I could tell in my momโ€™s voice that she wasnโ€™t feeling well and sounded kind of weak. But I didnโ€™t think anything of it. Sheโ€™s going to be fine. She told me she was going to get herself together and I said ok Iโ€™ll check on you later.

I go to work the next day, doing my regular duties, interacting with coworkers, etc. My coworker and I get back from lunch around 1pm. I sit down at my desk and notice my cousin Jaleesa calling my cell phone. I think to myself โ€œummm this is weird because she never calls during this time of dayโ€ I answer and hear her quietly say โ€œRobinโ€ฆ. your mom is gone. Iโ€™m so sorryโ€ Iโ€™m like โ€œGone??โ€ What do you mean sheโ€™s gone? She said,โ€ your mom passed awayโ€. At this point, Iโ€™m still not understanding because I just talked to my mom the night before. She canโ€™t be gone!! I leave my desk and walk to over to the conference room to finish talking with Jaleesa. After asking fifty million more questions, she puts me on the phone with the paramedics and they confirmed she was not breathing and had passed away. I immediately fell to the floor and just hollered. From that moment my life changed forever. But the pain didnโ€™t stop there, on April 11, 2017, my grandmother passed away from a bleeding stroke.

My mom had been diagnosed Sarcoidosis which is the growth of tiny collections of inflammatory cells in different parts of your body, primarily in the lungs, lymph nodes, eyes, and skin. She battled with Sarcoidosis along with asthma for a long time, but she always pushed through and continued to live life to the fullest.

Losing my mom and grandmother have been extremely hard to deal with it. In the beginning, you receive all the condolences, calls, text messages, flowers, and cards. ย And youโ€™re so thankful for the amount of support from family and friends. Then slowly those calls and messages become less and less. Everything seems to have folded over and back to normal right? Iโ€™ve asked God numerous times trying to understand why He let this happen? What was his purpose? What did I do to deserve my mom being taken away?

Starting Over

In July 2017, I took a leap of faith and decided to start my own business with Beautycounter. Beautycounter is an education first company that specializes in formulating safer high performing products for your entire family, along with advocating for laws that better protect our health. I felt this was an amazing opportunity to step outside my comfort zone and try something different. It wasnโ€™t about selling amazing products, but I got a chance to educate and make a difference for women in our community. Now was this business easy?? Hell no! There were plenty of times where I got discouraged and wanted to give up. Throughout the summer and fall months, I was on top of my game! Feeling like a real boss! Traveling every weekend, networking, attending conferences, hosting events and inspiring women from all over.

Now here comes the holiday seasonโ€ฆ. The most โ€œwonderful time of yearโ€ they say. For me, there was nothing wonderful about it. Bump you and your Christmas Tree. My first Thanksgiving and Christmas without my mom and grandma. It was truly hard to accept. They were the glue that held our family together, literally two peas in a pod lol. During this time, I realized that I never gave myself time to grieve. By the time, I mean attending to my physical needs, getting back to a normal routine, seeking therapy, etc.

I made the decision to step away from Beautycounter at the end of 2018 because I knew mentally that I couldnโ€™t commit to the responsibilities and duties of my business. I just couldnโ€™t do it and I was okay with that.

Reflection

As I approach my 30th Birthday in July, I reflect on how God has kept me thus far. There were plenty of days and nights where Iโ€™ve cried out like LORDDDTTT I cannot do this! Trust me, these past two years has been full of ups and downs. I find myself getting more emotional because this point in my life is when I need my mom the most. Iโ€™m going to need that guidance and support whenever I become a mother or when itโ€™s time to get married. No one can ever take the place of your mom, so cherish her while sheโ€™s still here.

For anyone thatโ€™s suffering from a loss, Iโ€™m here to say it gets better in due time. Let your moments happen, itโ€™s a sign of release.

Take care,

Instagram: @robbie_lashea

Facebook: Robin LaShea

 

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9 thoughts on “๐’ฏ๐‘œ๐“Š๐‘”๐’ฝ ๐’ฏ๐’พ๐“‚๐‘’๐“ˆ ๐’Ÿ๐‘œ๐“ƒ’๐“‰ ๐ฟ๐’ถ๐“ˆ๐“‰ ๐น๐‘œ๐“‡๐‘’๐“‹๐‘’๐“‡ by: Robin Myrick

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  1. Grief truly is a life long Journey at times it can be cruel But God is what I alwayd say. He will carry us in the Midst of the storm. This was a Beautiful Tribute to your Mother. She was Beautiful. Be Encouraged, Love and Hugs Queen ๐Ÿ˜˜

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  2. My dear Pooh , this was a true tribute and a new beginning of where you were and how to move forward . From someone who also endured such a hard lost grieving is forever you learn how to cry when you need and smile to help yourself heal . Itโ€™s a journey but you donโ€™t have to do it by yourself we are all here for you . So so proud of you !!

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  3. Robin…hmmmm, thank you so much for sharing that things can get better, right now everything seems as if I cant get life right; since losing my dad. But thank you for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Youโ€™re welcome, this was hard to do but Iโ€™m glad my story was able to touch otherโ€™s who are going through this process as well. Your dad is so proud of you! I will continue to pray Godโ€™s strength for you and your family. Love you sis !

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This was truly inspiring to read! Grief and loss have personally been my biggest hurdles these past few years myself..I just approached my 30th and so much of the clarity about moving forward has come to light!
    Interesting that I reading your story as Iโ€™ve worked for FSR (The Foundation for Sarcoidosis Research) based in Chicago, IL Please reach out to them as they truly appreciate stories such as yours to inspire those living with this disease all over the world. Iโ€™m no longer with the foundation but would love to connect you if interested. Itโ€™s such a small world and being that Iโ€™ve worked with hundreds of Sarcoidosis patients and families..YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Take care and be easy sis you got this and Iโ€™m so proud of you! My email is bjones22@towsonalumni.org if you would like more info about FSR too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Brittiany, wow thank you soo much! Yes I’m definitely interested in connecting with the FSR to get more information. My family and I didn’t realize how sick my mother was until after the fact. So I think having that background information and talking with other families will be helpful. I’ll reach out to this week!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. You’re welcome, this was hard to do but I’m glad my story was able to touch other’s who are going through this process as well. Your dad is so proud of you! I will continue to pray God’s strength for you and your family. Love you sis !

    Liked by 1 person

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